Zzzzzzz

Posted by DAVE: Wake me up when this Azarenka/Kvitova semi is finished. It's a yawner with a capital Y, which I guess means I should refer to it as a Yawner. Anyway, even Navratilova, who is in the stands next to Sir Richard Branson of all people (random!) looks bored. And why does ESPN keep switching to a shot of an empty chair in the players' box? Whose chair is that? Who has abandoned his/her player? Wake up, Enberg, dish up some insightful commentary already!

I'm having a good laugh at Mary Joe Fernandez (who I've always adored, and who I had the chance to meet in person at the 2004 Family Circle Cup, and, yes, if you're curious, she's every bit as nice and gracious as you'd expect her to be, given her on-court demeanor and broadcast personality) talking down Azarenka for having more consistency than power and questioning whether she has what it takes to win a Grand Slam singles title. "Hello, pot? This is kettle. You're black. And should still be beating yourself up for losing three (three!) Slam finals, circa 1990-1993."

The only excitement in this Azarenka/Kvitova match so far has been the fire alarm that began sounding at 40-0, Kvitova serving and up a break (or was it two breaks?) early in the first set. Hilarious, yet sad, to me that they let play continue before making certain it was a false alarm and ensuring the many fans in attendance were safe. Apparently, the British are more rabid about their tennis than I am.

What's kept me entertained, so far, is that the crowd is making noises, at times, that sound so close to those of the armless digital fans within Wii Sports Tennis. You know what I mean .... whoooooooa .... aaaaaaah ... etc. (Check out this match!) If you're curious, this may be because Kvitova's average net clearance is five inches less than Azarenka's. Now you KNOW it's a boring match when they're talking about a statistic like that.

C'mon, ladies, give us some drama and prove that women's tennis can be just as exciting without Venus and Serena. Please.